Investigating Our Allies, Part 1

Author (in-game): Felinwoin

I have heard your cries, your pleas, your demands for the truth. And, just as always, Feliwoin is here to deliver. Bringing you nothing but the latest and most relevant news, I knew exactly what role I must play in this new proclamation. I am of course talking about the new laws that allow our Dominion allies access to the shores of Summerset. Many are concerned about the impacts of such an event, with good reason. Are our streets safe? Are our homes secure?

Readers, I made it my mission to find out.

I started with Alinor, home to our royal court and most regal Proxy Queen Alwinarwe, may long she live and reign gloriously in these most troubling of times. Walking the streets, I made sure to disguise myself in garb as common as I could possibly find. Not a soul knew who I was, and that was just the way I wanted it. Crawling through the common rabble would allow me access to our new so-called-allies.

My first encounter involved a rather brusque Khajiit making a purchase at the grocery. I observed from the sides, ever vigilant toward any case of sticky paws, given their propensity toward thievery. I was unable to observe any theft, but was there to bear witness a rather astonishing exchange. This Khajiit went up to the store clerk, put his items on the counter, and simply asked, “How much?”

No, you did not read that wrong dear readers! No greeting, not so much as an honor or a praise! Apparently, our allies are too good for even basic, common manners. Oh, Auri-El above, I was simply staggered. I watched in horror as the poor clerk tried her best to respond in a far more befitting way as this brutish Khajiit continuously rebuked all words of politeness. After a few moments of cringing, I simply could not bear the weight of such impropriety and had to leave the store, my pulse drumming from what I had witnessed.

My next sighting occurred while stopping at one of Alinor’s many opulent fountains. Soon after taking my seat on a nearby bench, I witnessed a hoard of little Khajiits run to the fountain. My, there must have been at least ten of them! Without any sense of control, all at once they plunged into the crystal waters of the once tranquil fountain, splashing about in the most barbaric of fashions. Their mother came up from behind, clucking her tongue like a mad chicken. One by one, her children slowly stepped out from the fountain, talking excitedly all the while.

I had of course heard that Khajiit gave birth to litters, but I never thought they would have so many children of the same age! I can see the population rising among our furred allies tenfold every decade, what with such … tendencies. Not to mention the control these mothers seem to have on their children, apparently not thinking to teach them a modicum of manners.

It was while I was sitting in shock, mouth agape, that the most perplexing interaction occurred. Perhaps it was my blatant observation of his kind, but a young Khajiit standing near decided to strike up conversation. I will not do you disservice by writing this cretin’s dialogue here, but I will tell you that it involved the creation of children and how he would be willing to render his “services” for such an activity. I turned ruby red as, in face of such lewdness, I left at once.

I of course need not remind my dear readers of the other reputations that I, being a lawful citizen of Summerset, am not able to observe. Surely, had I been able to risk my safety to observe more unsavory sections of the city, I would have seen a rise in skooma trades and black-market deals. Yes, I only have rumors to guide these claims, but the Khajiit are known for their inclination toward the illegal. I have no doubt that crime statistics will continuously rise, given their habitation of our beloved homeland.

Let us hope that our leaders will soon see the error of their ways. Perhaps these allies are necessary in the war effort, but we’re fighting a battle here on the very shores of our beloved island! A battle against brutish, lewd, and often miscreant Khajiits who threaten to rot our society from the inside out. With just one day’s worth of observation, I can safely say that all citizens have every right to be anxious!

We must all rise together and petition for the return of our peaceful seclusion. Appeal to our local leaders, inform your fellow citizens, and keep an eye out for those who have already invaded our homelands. Keep a tight hold of both your purses and children as you travel our once safe streets. Don’t allow apologists to sway you, dear readers. Know the truth, written by my own, trusted hand!

My next issue will continue my investigation, this time into the habits and culture of the Wood Elves, our lesser kin. Be sure to purchase it so I can continue my important work!

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