Five New Spells to Avoid (The Fourth One Will Shock You!)

Author: Hjorolf Hard-Head
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This text was first published in The Modern Adventurer Volume 8 released in The Modern Adventurer – Skyrim mod on 11/11/23.

Those milk-drinkers in Winterhold and those witches all over are always up to no good. To find out what surprises they have for us honest warriors, I found a wizard and asked him.

It was a Khajiit but a wizard all the same. I found him buying restore magicka potions, a sure sign that someone’s a wizard. So I bonked him on the head and tied him up and asked his name. He said he was J’zargo. I said yer a wizard, J’zargo. He didn’t deny it. So I asked him what new spells were out there. I ignored all the ones about burning undead or conjuring some awful monsters from oblivion. I wanted to know what a warrior might run into when charging one of these big-headed milk-drinking firestarters.

There’s bad news, fellow warriors. Lots of new spells to slow us down, knock us back, paralyze us. The honest adventurer is going to need to resort to a little counter-magic just to get in close enough to use a real meady weapon, like an axe.

So first is the Paralyze Rune. Watch out for these. Some warriors ignore runes and just rush through them, but this is always a big risk. And now its a bigger risk. This rune can paralyze you long enough for the wizard to get a good death blow in, and that’s the end of you. Sneaky wizards can cast these while you’re already charging them, so if you see them cast something green and don’t see anything in the air, duck left and right and watch your step! If you don’t want to avoid all runes, just avoid any green ones. These are bright glowing green like spriggan dung. Not that I’ve ever seen spriggan dung, but you know what it would look like, and that’s what the runes look like.

The second spell the Khajiit mentioned is Freeze. This is a big ice spike that launches at you and slows you down if it hits. This one doesn’t sound so bad. Just dodge it like you would anything else a wizard does. If it hits you, you’ll need a way to speed back up, and I don’t know how to do that. I asked this J’zargo fellow but he didn’t tell me anything useful. So don’t let it hit you.

The third one is Ash Shell. This is another paralyze one, but it turns you into hardened ash, which sounds like a really bad way to go. But don’t worry! You can’t be harmed while you’re turned to ash. Just stay calm and wait it out. If you’re in a group of men taking on a wizard, this could be a real problem. The wizard can turn most of you to ash and just take on a few at once. But for a solo adventurer, if you were strong enough to kill the wizard before, you’ll still kill the wizard when it wears off.

The fourth one is Unbounded Storms. This one shocks everyone close enough to hit the wizard and there are big lighting bolts that can hit you even harder if they hit you. Cowardly archers won’t have a problem with this one, but being shocked all the time really makes it hard to work your might into a proper decapitation swing. This one is just not fair to a stout-hearted man. I hate to tell people to use magic to fight magic, but if you see a wizard with a storm around them, chug a couple lightning resist potions before sending them to Oblivion.

The last one the Khajiit mentioned was Whirlwind Cloak. This is another nasty one. It doesn’t hurt too much, but it pushes anyone close to the wizard away over and over, so the wizard can shoot your with fire, lightning, all that sort of thing, and you can’t get up close and settle things man-to-man. You can’t dodge proper when you’re being flung away, either. So if you see a wizard with a bunch of wind blowing stuff around his legs, just dodge and try to keep something between yourself and the wizard until it wears off.

That’s all I know, fellow warriors. Stay safe out there and don’t let the wizards have the last word. Or any word.

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