Sheogorath, Prince of Madness, Lord of the Never-There, Sovereign of the Shivering Isles, does, on this day, hence-forth make this decree:
Robert Wisnewski
Citizen of the Shivering Isles, Resident of Bliss, and Honored Madman
has broken the laws and covenants of the Shivering Isles and offended the austere personage of Our Lord, through the following actions:
Attempting the Growth of a Beard, an Action Deemed Unseemly in the Eyes of Our Lord
It is further decreed that the actions of this citizen merit the strictest of punishments to be meted out at the earliest possible hour, in a manner to be chosen according to the Whims and Fancies of Our Lord Sheogorath
