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A Culinary Adventure, Volume 4

Author: 
Rallaume Lemonds, Culinary Crusader

I've been pestering Mach-Makka for days. While I've learned a tremendous amount about Argonian cuisine, there is still one dish I have not tried: the Aojee-Sakka. Anytime I request it, Mach-Makka becomes agitated and serves me something else. I suppose his hesitancy is understandable. The Aojee-Sakka is among the most dangerous meals in all of Tamriel.

The meal actually consists of two dishes served simultaneously. The primary dish is a seared and delicately sliced Aojee Toad on a bed of caramelized figs and cinnamon-grass. The second dish is a bowl of cold hosh (a dark and viscous soup). Neither of these dishes can be consumed alone, as each is a deadly poison. Rather, they must be eaten slowly and simultaneously. One poison serves as the antidote to the other. Eating too much of the toad leads to violent tremors and mouth frothing, followed by death. Eating too much hosh leads to searing intestinal pain and vomiting, followed by death. Not surprisingly, this dish is avoided by almost everyone, chef and customer alike. But my palate cannot be denied!

I believe that Mach-Makka is at least considering my request. I've brought a small fortune in gold and signed a half-dozen bizarre snake-skin documents (which I can only assume are waivers of some kind). I can practically taste the toad already. My culinary adventure is almost complete!

* * *
I return this book to you, Malven-friend. I hope that you understand that your friend wanted the Aojee-Sakka. He demands I prepare it. I eventually did as he asked, but he did not eat it properly. Too much toad, not enough soup. I am very sorry he dies.

Have a good life! We hope you come eat with us, too! But not the Aojee-Sakka.

—Mach-Makka