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Bethesda's Next Game

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Od
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Joined: 07/02/2010

Um.

My first job on TES: Daggerfall (they needed emergency help) was to tweak all these real-world paintings they scanned in and, like, hide the fact that they weren't real-world paintings so, like, no one would get sued. So I, like, took whatever 64x128 scans they had, like The One That Movie With British Dude and Scarlett Jo-I-Can't-Spell-It-Son Was In... Portrait of Somethin' Girl, and turned the chick into, like, a lizard bitch because lizard people were in this dummy Elder Scrolls world along with cat people and all the other colors of Benetton and no one wanted to get sued and I didn't want to draw dragons and oh snap here's my opportunity to actually draw clothes on all these scanned-in Penthouse pictures (which I wasn't supposed to do; I was just supposed to not get us sued and "fantasy them up" which I think only wasn't funny and retarded to Julian) because, like, that part of it was embarrassing and just, like, reinforced the Dumb.

So I wasn't having anything to do with this dummy Elder Scrolls world. Until Kurt got promoted. And Ken got hired. And then Julian left and Todd frowned and went, hmm, "Hey Kurt and Michael, what was this pirate game you guys were talking about again?"

Kurt and I were all, "It's set on a gas planet named like UR for Jupiter but it's way in the future so everyone's forgotten that name plus we both love ancient cultures so we can play with the Etruscans and the Medes and BABYLONIAN BULL-PEOPLE, and TOTALLY with air-whales for ships, right, and metal is so scarce that each cannonball has its own name and people eat bone-meal, right, because meat is totally, totally scarce and therefore cannibalism is totally normal and--" and he's all, "Wait, back up the train. That sounds weird. What if we set it in Tamriel?"

Remember this? What if Starship Troopers (whatever-the-hell-Bethesda's-trademark ) is this?